Creating Your Wedding Vows

Wedding vows could be described as the heart of marriage

One of the most precious aspects of your wedding ceremony is the creation of your wedding vows. This is your opportunity to make space for your heart and mind to articulate your commitment to your beloved. Wedding vows could be described as the heart of marriage.

Grounded and well-considered wedding vows can provide an anchor for your life together going forward. These are the words that you will speak intimately and honestly to one another in front of your friends and family. Therefore, it’s important to give them adequate time and consideration.

Ideally, your vows need to be created months in advance of your wedding. Although I encourage couples to write their own wedding vows, there’s no need for anxiety because inspiration can be taken from the numerous sample vows that are available. If I’m the celebrant or minister marrying you, I’d see it as my job to help you to create wedding vows that will truly reflect the people that you are and that will mirror the uniqueness of your relationship with one another.

A couple’s commitment to one another is nourished by personalised and heartfelt vows. When you reflect on your history together as a couple, you’ll realise that you most likely began creating your vows, in intimate moments together, many moons ago.

To begin the process it may be helpful to think about your time together and to take into consideration…

Heartfelt conversations you’ve had with one another
Vulnerabilities you’ve shared with one another
That moment when you realised that you trusted and respected one another
The first time you both said the words “I love you”
Your hopes, aspirations, and values
When you saw your unborn children in your beloved’s eyes
The challenges that you’ve overcome together
Your shared vision for a life together.

You can write your vows together, but you may also find it easier to write them separately. It’s advisable for couples to share their vows with one another before speaking them aloud on their wedding day. It’s understandable that some people may want the element of “surprise” however, I’m not convinced that’s a worthy enough reason. The problem with a surprise is that it can be received positively or negatively – better safe than sorry!

When you share your vows with your partner in advance of the wedding, they then have a chance to absorb what you intend to say to them during the wedding ceremony. If you wish you can practice speaking the vows aloud. If there’s anything in the vows that’s not acceptable to either person, there will still be time to make changes before your wedding day. This aspect of your wedding holds amazing potential. I’d wholeheartedly encourage you to immerse yourself in creating your vows, and to enjoy this once in a lifetime experience.

Rev Caroline Lennon

Certified Civil Celebrant and Interfaith Minister based in Ireland. As a non-denominational Minister, there are no limitations to the personal ceremony that can be created exactly as you wish.